Tag Archives: Best Movie Beards

Great Moustaches & Beards In Horror History 1964: Yoshifumi Tajima in Mothra vs Godzilla

Yoshifumi Tajima Mothra Godzilla

Now I’m no fancy-pants World War II historian, but I know a Hitler ‘tache when I see one.., and this sir is a Hitler tache. To be fair to Mr Tajima (or Mr Tajima Sir as an 80s movie would call him) the Hitler moustache is an actual facial hair style known as The Toothbrush Moustache – although butthole moustache would be a better term as I wouldn’t attack my oral hygiene with that upper-lip turd. The Toothbrush Moustache isn’t exclusive to everyone’s least favourite homicidal Nazi maniac, it was of course sported by Charlie Chaplin, Michael Jordan (yes at one time he fashioned one), Robert Mugabe (another wanker), select hipsters, and any eleven year-old with a black comb. In this case Mr Tajima struts around the place all full of himself because he’s captured Mothra’s egg; little does he know, Godzilla has no time for Tootbrush Moustache’s and is about to get all atomic breath up in this beatch. Saying that old Mr Tajima Sir does put in a scenery chewing performance of epic proportions as he gurns his way through the movie with gusto. So let us remember Mr Tajima Sir, not for his Nazi sympathising face fashion, but rather a bumbling buffoon with a half-hearted dirty sanchez.

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Great Moustaches & Beards In Horror History: 2001

Ian Richardson as Sir charles warren in ‘From Hell’ (2001)

The term ‘lamb chops‘ is thrown around a lot theses days. For the follicley challenged,  lamb chops refer to a mighty pair of sideburns; sideburns so big and weighty that they fall under the meat and poultry category when border crossing. British thespian Ian Richardson CBE sports a colossal pair of lamb chops in 2001’s Jack the Ripper yarn From Hell. The chops themselves are so magnificently gargantuan that a supporting beam is necessary in the form of a girder-like moustache. It’s as if Richardson grew a huge Santa-esque white beard and got in a fist fight with Wolverine who’s Adamantium  claws barely managed to make a dent on the chin area.

Richardson was famous in the UK for playing a fictional British politician in the BBCs House of Cards. On the evidence of this beard, had he actually been in politics his facial hair would surly have supported the entire Euro Zone financial crisis.

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Great Moustaches & Beards in Horror History: 1932

Charles Laughton in ‘The Island of Lost Souls’

What’s not to like about this Musketeer Aramis/Hitler combo? Attached to the Hitchcock-esque rotund face of British thespian Charles Laughton, this moustache come R&B goatee is as licentiously eccentric as Laughton’s performance of H.G. Well’s infamous Dr Mareau. Just look at that petite chin-strap holding up Laughton’s bottom lip like a hairy goblet, balanced lovingly by a top-lip-hat that suggests both the wisdom of Hercule Poirot and lurking terror of senor Adolf. Only a moustache and beard combo such as this could drive a man to successfully combine animal and human DNA to create an army of man-beasts. One suspects that this facial hair itself may once have roamed the great Savannah in search of prey. As the chants of “what is the law?” echo from the man-beast’s village and over the treetops of the Island of Dr Moreau, surly the only sane response is “this.., this moustache beard combo.., this is the law“.

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Great Moustaches & Beards in Horror History: 1976 (Again!)

Jeff Bridges and beard in King Kong

There was something in the water in 1976, and that something was clearly a liberal Hollywood toxin aimed at generating communist face hair (I imagine their plan to be executed much like Ra’s Al Ghul’s water vaporising scheme in Batman Begins). But one look at hippy dream-boat Jeff Bridges will have even the most staunch Republican melting into his white rhino-skin shoes. Gaze on in awe as Bridges produces a massive volume of beard and long flowing locks, the likes we wouldn’t see again until 1998s The Big Lebowski. It’s little wonder that young sexy starlet Jessica Lange fell deep into those longing blue eyes, like two lakes in a clearing of soft skin, surrounded by the beardy forrest of Bridgeville. Some say it was beauty killed the beast, others say that Kong threw himself off that building in shame; after realising that Jeff Bridges had better face hair than he. But that dear reader is a secret we will never know.

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Great Moustaches & Beards Spielberg Special! Top 5 Spielberg Beardo Weirdos

Deadly Movies | Top 5’s

Steven Spielberg is a purveyor of fine beards. He himself sports one almost religiously, as do close pals George Lucas, Tobe Hooper, and John Landis. Indeed all of these men are fine alumni of 1970s fashion, a time when beards ruled the earth. Granted, Spielberg seems to have fallen somewhat out of love with man face-pubes these days, preferring his leading men with the smooth scrotal faces of Cruise, Hanks, and DiCaprio. But from the earliest days of his career the great auteur has always enjoyed photographing the gravitas that only beards can bring to the big screen. Join Deadly Movies in hairy adventure through Spielberg’s greatest on-screen beardy moments: Continue reading

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