Category Archives: Do You Remember When?

Do You Remember When..,

.., Godzilla was all glowing orange badass in ‘Godzilla vs Destoroya’ (1995)

History lesson: Did you know the ‘Godzilla‘ franchise comes in three ages or series? Well it does. The Showa series (1954 – 1975), the Heisei series (1984 – 1995), and the Millennium series (1999 -2004). Each time the big guy is basically destroyed, ready to be reinvented after a theatrical hiatus (and temporary rights sale to a major US studio). 1995’s ‘Godzilla vs Destoroya‘ (they couldn’t get a copyright for the term Destroyer) was the final film in the Heisei series, so it was time to kill Zilla off for a wee while. How do they do it? Basically his heart is a nuclear reactor gone into bat-shit-crazy meltdown. Visualised by Godzilla glowing and pulsating a radioactive orange, giving off all kinds of smoke and steam, and being even more bad tempered and pissed than usual. I.e. he’s having a bad fucking day. I for one loving radioactive, glowing, Godzilla and think he looks frickin badass.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Crappy Backdrop Moment in ‘The Creature With The Atomic Brain’ (1955)

Check out this particularly lazy bit of stage management from 1955 b-movie extraordinaire ‘The Creature With The Atomic Brain‘. When b-movie journeyman, and certifued Deadly Movies Icon, Richard Denning comes home to the little wife (slapping her ass on the front porch, 50s style.., Booyah!) little does he realise that it’s not only atomic zombies that he has to worry about. Walking in through the front door you can clearly see the canvas that represents the street outside standing on the fake lawn. Either Denning has gone mad with atomic poisoning and commissioned a huge to-scale portrait of his neighbourhood, or some stagehand was having a very bad day at work. Props here too to the director and editor for completely missing this in the final cut. B-movie goodness at its best.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Do you remember when..,

.., Time Travelling Godzilla Hunters Caused the Career of Steven Spielberg in ‘Godzilla vs King Ghidorha’ (1991)

Godzilla plots are wacky and random at the best of times; boldly spitting in the face of logic and character motivation.., and they are awesome for it. There are many a Godzilla flick that could lay claim to being the king of bizarre narratives; 1991’s ‘Godzilla vs King Ghidorha‘ may not be the wackiest but it’s certainly up there on the ‘what-the-fuck-is-going-on-o’meter‘. The plot concerns time travelling future people (dressed in hilarious 90’s future clothes) who go back in time to World War 2 in order to teleport a dinosaur into the present before it has the chance to mutate into Godzilla during the US atomic bombing. Got it? As the time travellers arrive in 1944 aboard their Klingon ship they overshoot a fleet of US warships. Witnessing this strange flying vessel, two US sailors offer the following, mind boggling, dialogue:

Major: “Enemy plane Sir?”

Admiral:Impossible, no enemy plane could fly that fast, that looked to me like if was from another planet!”

Major: “I have to agree Sir, it did look like it was from another planet.., but.., Shall we report it Sir?”

Admiral: “What.., That we’re being invaded by little green men from outer space? Let’s just keep it as our secret (REALLY!?). You can tell your son about it when he’s born, Major Spielberg”

WHAT THE FUCK? That’s right everyone. In Godzilla mythology, the father of ET and Close Encounters was inspired by his carzy old-man’s UFO war ramblings. Amazing. Only in Godzilla, only in Japan.

NOTE: We are very simple people with very small penis. But you, Americans… wow! Penis so big! So big penis!

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Batman wore Nike’s in ‘Batman’ (1989)?

Batman’s Nike’s circa 1989 (complete with air bubble!)

Can it be? Did Batman actually fight the Joker wearing 80s sport pumps? Believe it or not.., Yes. In 1989 Nike creative director for productive design Tinker Hatfield headed to London to build a pair of knee high bat-boots for Michael Keaton’s Batman (or 18 pairs to be precise). Basically they were black Nike’s with a boot on top. Batman ended up in running shoes rather than heavy duty leather boots because WB had a deal with Nike who wanted-in on 1989’s biggest movie. Not wanting to see The Bat jump from roof-top to roof-top in an Air Jordan tshirt, lead costume designer Bob Ringwood and his assistant Graham Crurchyard came upon a happy compromise whereby Nike would provide the Bat-sneakers. Check out Graham Cruchyard’s explanation below..,

“Warners have this thing going with Nike, [they asked] can you use any of their sportswear? I talked to Bob (Ringwood) and he said well 80s sportswear isn’t going to fit in with our 1940s look. And then it just came to us. Why don’t they make the bat-boots? They made the bat-boots from scratch based on one of their cross-trainers at the time. Michael (Keaton) and the stunt guys absolutely loved them” Graham Chrurchyard, Assistant costume designer, Batman 

So there you have, Batman wore Nike’s throughout the entire movie. Weird movie trivia.

Tagged , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Crappy Aligator Man wrestles an actual Alligator in ‘The Alligator People’ (1959)?

The Alligator People‘ is a pretty solid 50’s sci-fi, creature flick. Ok there’s some pretty racist characterization in places (which you see coming from a 1959 film that has the tag-line “Terror In The Bayou”) and some very unexpected woman slapping and near rape. These moments of exploitation cinema sit rather uneasily In a film which, otherwise, is a fairly standard example of 50s B-movie sci-fi. So as you can imagine there are many-a-memorable moment to be found in ‘The Alligator People‘. But one moment sticks out in particular. After the titular Alligator-person goes from guy with bad skin condition (actually very good makeup effects) to full on man-gator (not so good), he takes off into the darkness of the bayou in his flimsy alligator rubber mask. Apparently man-gator is so pissed off by his ludicrous costume that he takes his frustration out on a real alligator (which is either dead or drugged). Cue fabulous scene of stuntman in crap rubber outfit wrestling catatonic reptile.

Tagged , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Kong smiles as he blow-dries Jessica Lange in ‘King Kong’ (1976)?

Horny Kong strikes again! King Kong has a 80 year reputation for abducting and thoroughly molesting blonde starlets. But that’s just Hollywood for you. In 1976 Kong got very excited as he dipped a scantly-clad, hot as jalepenos, Jessica Lange under a waterfall. A kind of Skull Island wet t-shirt competition. Surveying Lange, in all her wet glory, Kong puffs out his huge inflatable cheeks to give her a little blow-dry and grins profusely from ear-to-ear as if he’d been up all night smoking dubes and watching Ren and Stimpy. He then goes on to poke and prod her like most men do to women when they try picking them up in bars. Good work Kong, good work.

Note: yes that is Rick Baker in that suit, and yes those are his sex offender eyes (disclaimer: Rick Baker is NOT a sex offender). For more on Rick Baker and his career with Kong check out this Deadly Movies article.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Do you remember when..,

.., Michael Myers drives a Camero in ‘Halloween 5’ (1989)

Ahh 1989, a good year for quality popcorn cinema. Film fans could stroll to their local theatre to see the cinematic revival of Batman, the return of the Ghostbusters, John McClane feeling like a TV dinner, or Marty and Doc time-traveling without need for roads. All good solid ways to spend two hours in the dark. However there was another option. Something even more spectacular, scintillating, and satisfying.., that’s right, Dominique Othenin-Girard’s ‘Halloween 5‘. First time viewers of H5 would be treated to one of cinema’s most enduring moments, a scene that would forever adorn tribute montages at glitzy award ceremonies for decade to come. That scene, of course, is Michael Myers cruising for babes in (what I believe to be) a 1960s convertible Camero. What can you say? The man has taste.

After picking up and droping off the incredibly irritating Tina (how a psychopath refrained from killing her, when men of sound minds struggle, is beyond me) at a gas station, Michael can be seen having a quick pose down in his classic wheels before speeding off for a good night’s partying. Both of Rob Zombie’s Halloween efforts sorely lacked Michael driving classic muscle cars. I salute you whacky 1980s filmmaking.

Tagged , , , , ,

Do You remember When..,

.., John Carpenter blew cigarette (or maybe pot) smoke in front of the camera in ‘Halloween’ (1978)?

Carpenter's smoke enters screen left (Photo: Compass International Pictures/Falcon Films)

I love this bit of trivia. John Carpenter’s Halloween is synonymous for its tiny budget and boot-string effects (which makes the final outstanding piece of cinema all the more amazing). During a dolly shot whereby Carpenter tracks Annie Brackett (Nancy Loomis) down a Haddonfield side-walk, a wisp of the director’s cigarette smoke floats nonchalantly into view from screen left and passes between the camera lens and the actress. There’s just something wonderfully innocent and almost naive about this that makes the film all the more endearing, something that all gorilla film-makers can relate to. Pot or smoke (Left)? Take a look at Carpenter in 1978 and decide for yourself (Below).

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Jon Voight overacts his way up the Amazon in ‘ANACONDA’ (1997)?

Four time Oscar nominated, one time winner, Jon Voight puts on a display of scene chewing majesty in 1997’s ‘Anaconda’. Voight has never been shy when it comes to signing up to lesser quality projects. For every ‘Deliverance’ there is a ‘Bratz’, for every ‘Midnight Cowboy’ there is a ‘Tomb Raider’. Although in Deadly Movies’ opinion ‘Anaconda’ is solid monster fodder, it is without doubt b-movie fodder, and one imagines this is how Voight approached the script. Playing South America poacher, tracker, and all-round super ass-hole Paul Sarone, Voight delivers a performance wonderfully over the top, channeling Brando’s Don Corleone and Pacino’s Tony Montana with a massive pinch of self knowing parody. Watching Voight face-gurn his way through the movie you have to wonder what the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube thought they had to do to compete, and in fairness they don’t really try. Chewing on the scenery like a fat kid in a cake factory, Voight delivers lines like; “Presume? How you like I presume to throw you in the river? You like that presume?” (what does that even mean?!), with ‘Days of our Lives’ style subtlety. Great stuff.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., William Shatner threatens to milk his sister in-law in ‘Kingdom of the Spiders’ (1977)

In the brilliant 1977 creature feature ‘Kingdom of the Spiders‘ The Shat takes manning-up to all new 70s highs. Including woman abduction, tight ass man-flares, digging about in animal carcasses, porch drinking with the boys, and throwing little girls around. Oh, and he’s called ‘Rack’, as in BBQ ribs or nice set of tits. With all these classic moments, not to mention The Shat’s now infamous ground breaking acting style, it’s difficult to pick just one moment from this seminal arachnid feature. However there is one. Oh yes, one moment that stands head and shoulders above the rest, one that is as random as it is uncomfortable and ball-splitingly hilarious. The moment in question comes when The Shat delivers some financial support to his deceased brother’s sexy young widow. Refusing her sexual advances the following exchange of livestock analogies take place where The Shat appears to threaten to milk his dead brother’s wife. Yes that’s right MILK her:

Sexy Widow chick: “Rack you’re a funny man.., You won’t be with your brother’s wife, but you’ll take care of her like you were. Isn’t that like buying the cow and giving the milk away?”

The Shat (Rack): “You know if you don’t quit pestering me, one of these mornings I’m gonna show up and start milking that cow”

A remarkable scene worthy of any Screen Writers Guild award.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., The Beast Destroyed a Lighthouse in ‘The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms‘ (1953)

Normally the ‘do you remember when..‘ column would focus on those brief moments of stupidness or eccentricity that thankfully plague genre movies (they wouldn’t be what they are without such moments). This time however, I think it only right and proper to pick out a glorious moment instead, in honor of Ray Harryhausen who celebrated his 90th birthday this week. ‘The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms‘ is one of my favourite, if not my favourite, Harryhausen film (here credited with ‘animation effects’). Although not quite at the height of his stop motion genius, there’s a real sence romance and adventure that comes from the monster moving through the black and white scenery. Harryhausen, better than anyone in his industry, knew how to use lighting, shadow, and silhouettes to lift moments of creature attacks up from the level of pop trash and onto a higher plane of atmosphere and beautiful fantasy. You could pick numerous scenes from ‘The Beast’ that fit such lavish description: The blizzard shrouded reveal, the ocean attack on a ship, or the infamous climactic roller coaster fire. But it’s the attack on the lighthouse that does it for me. Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Do You Remember When..,

.., Connie Throat Fists a Hillbilly in ‘Just Before Dawn’ (1981)

Ahh yes, the great outdoors.., trees, mountains, fresh water streams, and fisting. In the much underrated early 80s slasher ‘Just Before Dawn‘, fat killer hillbilly twins are on the rampage killing teens and hunters alike in a very lackadaisical (yet oddly menacing) fashion. The twins get their comeuppance when they run head on into the power house tag-team of George Kennedy and Final Girl Connie, aka Miss Fists of Fury 1981. In a surprising reverse of standard Final Girl behaviour (reverse in hindsight as the slasher rules were very much in their infancy at this point), Connie seems to get sluttier as the movie progresses: Clothes get looser, buttons undo, and promiscuity increases. By the film’s finale Connie has swapped beige Chinos for a smoking pair of butt hugging hot-pants. Her increased sexualisation has empowered her with the ability to tackle the final surviving hillbilly twin while her lame duck boyfriend literally cower’s and cries on the floor.

So here’s the crux of the movie: How do we add a punchline to a tale whereby increased sexual confidence causes increased physical power? FISTING. Of course! Hurrah for fisting. (I’m fisting with glee right now). Trapped in a bear hug as hillbilly twin #2 tries to squeeze the life out of her, brave Connie raises her fist high and,with all the energy she has left, ploughs a five-knuckle soup bowl right down the hick’s throat. The sexual signifiers aren’t hard to miss, especially the site of a scantily clad teen straddling a fat hillbilly with her arm elbow deep in mouth. Amazing! Death by deep throat. Standing tall above the hick’s corpse, Connie looks upon her god given deadly weapon with some menace and satisfaction. Truly marvelous stuff.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: