Category Archives: Deadly Movies Top 5's

Top 10 Asshole Santas from Film and TV.

Ho Ho Fucking Ho, Merry Shitmas (is what any of these uncouth vagabonds would likely say)

tommy

The jolly fat man and all round good samaritan, Santa Claus, has been the icon of goodwill (and Coca-Cola) for generations of children (and soda junkies). Personally I love Santa and won’t have a bad word said about him. However to every yin there is an inevitable yang. So here’s a look at Deadly Movies’ Top 10 Santa A-holes, the type of guys who come in through your downstairs window or shit down your chimney.., Continue reading
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The Changing Face of Jason Voorhees: All Masks & Faces 1980 – 2009

Jason_Voorhees_Evolution_by_xamoel

Jason Voorhees. Mass serial killer. Genius at Police lineups. You’d never identify this bastard twice in a row. If you thought Michael Myers had a fixation with facial reinvention, then you ain’t seen nothing yet. Jason Voorhees is to horror what Joan Rivers was to TV – a confused attempt to understand how this face can possibly belong to the same person after all these years. As Johnny Carson would say; get the fuck on with it (PS the excellent image above is from Xamoel). Continue reading

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Top 5 Dracula Performances – “That’s 5, 5 Top Dracula Performances, Ha, Ha, Ha”

Blacula

Dracula the king of the vampires, much like his undead cousin the Zombie, has become an overused and somewhat stale staple of genre cinema. But that doesn’t mean that there’s not at least some good blood to be sucked from the cinematic neck of this most enduring horror icon. Join Deadly Movies as we explore the best incarnations of the lord of darkness. PS that’s a Sesame Street joke in the title.., hello, is this thing on?

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Top 5 World Cup Football Player/Horror Movie Lookalikes

Frank Ribery Sloth Goonies

Football/Soccer has its fare share of odd looking players, but what World Cup players would slip easily into the world of horror without even the need for prosthetics? By the way I couldn’t resist poor Frank Ribery (who suffered a terrible injuries in a car accident) and the popular Sloth comparison. Sorry. Onwards! Continue reading

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Top 5 Nazi Zombie Movies

zombie header

Nazis. Can’t live with them.., Can’t live with them. As soon as zombies became a credible way of making money it was only a matter of time before history’s greatest real-life bad guys, and all round assholes, became zombie exploitation fodder. Interestingly, as you’ll see below, as with World War 2, filmmakers from around the world lined up to turn Hitler’s blondes into Romero shufflers. It’s as if for some strange reason everyone enjoys decapitating a Nazi. Odd that.

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Top 5 Movie Monsters of the 1980s

Q the winged serpent 1982 close

The 80s was a rich breeding ground for horror and sci-fi, for some it was the peak. Undoubtably the decade produced absolute classics when it came to monsters and creatures. With that in mind, just as we did with the Top 5 Monsters of the 1990s, let’s make this tough for ourselves with some house rules: 1) The creature has to be a new film from the decade and not a sequel to a movie from previous decades (so that’s goodbye to Aliens, King Kong, and Godzilla). 2) ‘Monsters’ refers to proper monsters, beast type creatures that offer up something a little different from the normal humanoid-type beings we’re all so used to (so that’s goodbye to Freddy, Jason, Michael et al). 3) I’ll try and avoid animals, both current and extinct (so that’s goodbye giant crocodiles, alligators, sharks, and Cujo!). 4) Let’s get it on.., Continue reading

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Top 5 Terrible Godzilla Suits (aka Godzilla at his worst) 最悪のゴジラスーツ

facepalm-Godzilla

In 28 movies stretching nearly 60 years Godzilla has shown remarkable staying power in pop culture. Neither Japan nor Hollywood have been able to replicate that kind of longevity in sci-fi or horror, in fact, outside of James Bond, in any genre. Just think, Godzilla has more movies to his name than King Kong, Alien, Predator, Jaws, and Jurassic Park combined, with numbers to spare. However, It’s been a wonder, at times, how the King of Monsters ever got this far when you consider some of the entries. So lets take a look at some of the very worst Godzilla incarnations to date (remember to check out Deadly Movies Top 5 Godzilla Suits too here): Continue reading

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Top 5 Godzilla Suits (aka the top badass incarnations of the king) 最高のゴジラスーツ

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It’s been 60 years, 28 movies, and one Matthew Broderick since Godzilla first munched and crunched his way across Japan. In that time the King of the Monsters has had many a career high and low. Each movie sees a different take on the creature, often using a different suit design. So join Deadly Movies, sushi firmly in cheek and sake snugly in enema, as we take a look at the greatest Godzilla suits to date: Continue reading

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Happy Valentine’s Day: Top 5 Movie Hookers!

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Nothing says “I love you” more on on the day of St Valentine than flowers, chocolates, and a hooker for the night. That’s why Deadly Movies, being all about the romance, invites you to dress up to the nines and hit the streets to celebrate celluloid’s very finest ladies of the night.  Continue reading

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Happy Valentine’s Day: The Top 5 Horror Movie Deaths During Sex Scenes!

St Valentine’s Day, a day for love, romance, and gifts.., and night for cashing in all that goodwill for sexy sex time. Sex is all well and good, but it doesn’t come without risks (and I’m not talking Teen Mom or GUM clinic type risks), oh no. I’m talking the type of risk where trying to get your willy wet is more likely to end with getting your willy whacked (and I mean Italian American gangster whacked). So keep a firm hold of your dangly parts as Deadly Movies celebrates(?) the Top 5 horror movie death scenes during sex; because fornication can be fatal. (Reader beware, there are some sexually explicit photos in this post.., Happy Valentine’s Day!) Continue reading

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Crappy Valentines Day: Top 5 Heart Ripped Out Scenes!

Bloody Heart in HandValentines Day is the scariest date on the calendar for your body’s most important organ. If it’s not being shot at all day by a flying baby archer It’s in severe risk of being torn straight from It’s moist, wet home. Like a cranky Russian landlord Deadly Movies is pinning an eviction notice to your chest because your heart’s residency inside you is coming to an abrupt end. So plan a good going away party and take stock of five great ways to watch your own heart get the hell out of dodge as Deadly Movies celebrates these great ventricular escapologists:

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Top 5 Deadly Climbing Movies

cliffhanger 1993

You can’t climb a mountain without breaking a few heads, or at least that what my pun professor (Professor Pun) told me. Let’s get right into the definition here; We’re talking about movies set on mountains that largely include a people dying or at least in severe peril whilst climbing. The type of movie that’ll do for climbing what Psycho did for bathrooms. Got it? Good. Onwards (or upwards?).., Continue reading

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Deadly Movies Top Picks for 2014

2014 preview

Should auld shitty movies be forgot,  and never brought to mind? Yes, yes they should, as we skip merrily into the horror pastures new of 2014. So here’s Deadly Movies choice cuts of studio and indie offerings over the next 12 months. Continue reading

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