St Valentine’s Day, a day for love, romance, and gifts.., and night for cashing in all that goodwill for sexy sex time. Sex is all well and good, but it doesn’t come without risks (and I’m not talking Teen Mom or GUM clinic type risks), oh no. I’m talking the type of risk where trying to get your willy wet is more likely to end with getting your willy whacked (and I mean Italian American gangster whacked). So keep a firm hold of your dangly parts as Deadly Movies celebrates(?) the Top 5 horror movie death scenes during sex; because fornication can be fatal. (Reader beware, there are some sexually explicit photos in this post.., Happy Valentine’s Day!)
Bay of Blood double spear scenes (1971):The classic double spear routine from Italian gore hound supremo Mario Brava. There’s a handful of great kill sequences and effects throughout this movie, but as it’s V-day we’ll settle for the double sex impalement. Bed spear kills would also become popular in the Friday the 13th movies with Kevin Bacon getting an arrow through the neck in 1980 and the Bay of Blood’s double spear routine would be duplicated one year later in Friday the 13th Part 2.
Debbie gets speared through a tent in Jason Goes to Hell (1993): Nothing like a little tent sex, except for the bugs, pervy animals, lumps in the sleeping bag, general lack of hygiene, and huge spears slicing you half. Whilst performing the tried and tested cowgirl routine atop her boyfriend poor old Debbie recieves a very different kind of doube penetration when Jason shoves some kind of tent pole through her shoulder and all the way down to her midriff.
Sharon gets bad head in Basket Case (1982): This film is just damn seedy. Produced for around $5 and a sandwich the extra low production values really add to the grimy feeling you get whilst watching this.., making any sex kill all the more seedy. Because of said low budget It’s actually quite difficult to say with 100% certainty what on earth happens in this sequence because the ‘special effects’ and puppet had to be used so sparingly to avoid all out comedy. Needless to say that I think that Duane’s grotesque brother (essentially a head and arms) strangles Sharon to death whilst attempting to have his wicked way with her. Or at least do whatever it is you’re capable of doing when your just a head.
Doggy style decapitation in Hatchet 2 (2010): Most definitely the funniest sex-kill scene in horror comes from the mind of Adam Green. With fantastic dialogue like: “You like this better than Ice Cream? You like this better than Chocolate Ice Cream? You like this better than Jesus?“, “That’s not appropriate“, two hicks get their comeuppance at the hands of Victor Crowly. While having a little doggy style in the woods Victor decapitates the dude leaving his spasming body banging away. It’s genuinely hilarious and perhaps the first time in cinema that a headless corpse has performed so admirably for a lady.
All death by vagina scenes in Teeth (2007): This great Indie movie takes the horror convention of sex equels death, mixes it with teenage body angst and the real dangers of sex and presents the outcome in a very literal way; If you put your penis inside this girl you’re going to lose it and bleed to death. It will have all males running to the bathroom with Johnson and twins firmly in protective custody. It’s at times as hilarious as it is rather poignant regarding the terror that poor Jess goes through. In the meantime though, horror fans can delight in jocks loosing there dicks and gynaecologists losing their fingers!