Valentines Day is the scariest date on the calendar for your body’s most important organ. If it’s not being shot at all day by a flying baby archer It’s in severe risk of being torn straight from It’s moist, wet home. Like a cranky Russian landlord Deadly Movies is pinning an eviction notice to your chest because your heart’s residency inside you is coming to an abrupt end. So plan a good going away party and take stock of five great ways to watch your own heart get the hell out of dodge as Deadly Movies celebrates these great ventricular escapologists:
5: Heart stab in Suspiria 1977
A really nasty opening sequence to a wonderfully trippy horror movie. Granted this isn’t strictly a heart-ripping sequence, but the closeup nature of the heart stabbing makes for very uncomfortable, and very Giallo, watching.
4: Flaming heart=rip in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom 1984
“Kali Ma, Kali Maaaaaaa“. This bald bloke from India has a hankering for precious stones and human hearts – boys should have a hobby – and rightfully so if you possess the mad skills capable of ripping a man’s heart clean from his chest and setting it alight with your bare hands.
3: Jason Voorhees heart punch in Friday the 13th Part 6, Jason Lives 1986
If you’re a horror heavyweight you should punch things a lot, especially if you were just woken up from a sweet grave slumber by a couple of assholes in denim jackets. I’m not a morning person myself, and I can quite sympathise that, without a Starbucks for miles, Jason punches one such asshole so hard in the chest that his heart comes out of his back. In the words of Champ Kind “Whammy!“.
2: Satan heart punch in End of Days 1999
Some poor subway driver gets the old fist through the back, heart out the front treatment at the hands of Irish Satan
Bono Gabriel Byrne just because Arnie won’t let him have sex after 1,000 years downstairs. To be fair, his balls must have been mighty blue and you’d be a little agitated on public transit on New Years Eve too.
1: Fred Williamson rips out fat Mexican vampire’s heart in From Dusk Till Dawn 1996
Easily the most badass heart removal in cinema history. You can’t go messing with Fred Williamson and expect to keep all your vital organs, especially when Tom Savini’s got your back, armed to the teeth with crotch guns and pencils. Check out the winning heart removal below: