Presidential Election Special: Top 5 Horror Movie Presidents

Republican? Democrat? Ross Perot? Doesn’t matter, what does matter is important questions to today’s society, questions like; Is the president a cannibal? Can he wield an axe against the onslaught of hippies and vampires? Does he agree with dunked drive-by’s? And is he handy with a set of nunchucks? If the answer is yes to all of the above then this is the leader for Deadly Movies. If not then console yourself with this bunch of maniacs below, the very best presidents from horror. 

5. Richard Nixon in Black Dynamite (2009). Yeah, yeah It’s not a horror film, but it is beyond awesome. In my defence the type of film making which Black Dynamite parody’s and celebrates, Blaxploitation, is akin to horror’s mischievous nephew. If you like your Richard Nixon at the head of a secret campaign to make the male black penis smaller whilst wielding nunchucks of doom, then this is the President for you.

4. Abraham Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012): Benjamin Walker’s vampire fighting Abe is a little baby-faced for my liking. Yes I know it’s a journey tale from youth through to that fateful night at Ford’s Theatre, but just imagine a more grizzly Daniel Day Lewis type going steak-to-heart with the undead.., That’s whay I’m talking about. Still, good effort (PS after Liam Neeson was bypassed by Spielberg for his Lincoln epic, I wonder why he wasn’t approached? It would’ve been an artistic step-up from Taken 2).

3. Ronald Reagan in The Tripper (2007): God damn hippies. A chainsaw wielding Ronald Reagan impressionist is on the rampage in the woodlands surrounding a music festival to punish potheads and job dodgers. If this movie had come out during the Occupation movement it probably would’ve caused more of a stir than it did back in 2007. I think I just suggested that former WCW Heavyweight Champion David Arquette is ahead of the cultural and political curve.

2. Barack Obama(s) in True Blood (Ep. Let’s Boot and Rally 2012): Not just one Obama, but a truck-full of shotgun touting, beer swilling Obamas. It certainly was time for change in this episode of True Blood, a change in cast members as redneck Obama’s attempted to dispatch Sam and Luna. Sadly, likely due to Republican blocking, the Obama’s failed to push this reform through.

1. George Washington in The Washingtonians (Episode of Masters of Horror 2007): “I will skin and eat your children. Upon finishing, I shall fashion tools out of their bones” reads the chillingly hilarious mandate left by the cannibal Geaorge Washington in this Peter Medak episode of Masters of Horror. It turns out that America’s great founding father had turned to cannibalism at Valley Forge and just couldn’t kick the habit. It would seem that it is indeed impossible to govern a nation without God, The Bible, a liver, some Fava Beans, and a nice Chianti.

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One thought on “Presidential Election Special: Top 5 Horror Movie Presidents

  1. billytackett says:

    Zombie Sam image used in the banner is copyright Billy Tackett http://www.billytackett.com All rights reserved

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