Cyndi Lauper’s 1985 music video Goonies’R’Good Enough is perhaps one of the single most bat-shit-crazy crossover moments in the history of pop culture – and I mean Japanese Nic Cage commercials crazy. Having the star of your music video reenact the plot of the movie which the song is promoting is hardly note worthy, but it’s here that this piece of 80s memorabilia get’s all kinds of super random. Lauper essentially takes on the role of The Goonies searching for buried treasurer (standard), The Fratelli’s however are replaced by an oddball selection of WWF wrestlers including Rowdy Roddy Piper (of They Live fame), Nikolai Volkoff (evil Russian), The Fabulous Moolah, Classy Freddie Blassie, and best of all The Iron Fucking Sheik (Sheiky Baby to his friends and owner of the world’s greatest twitter account). Throw into this the actual Goonies themselves making an appearance in shameless Goonies promo t-shirts and Steven Spielbergo doing a piece to camera like a local sports anchor. It’s sheer 80s gold. Here’s a quick list of the highlights that make this one of the greatest 12 minutes in entertainment and marketing history:
- 1.00 min: The Iron Sheik calls Cyndi Lauper’s mum a “lazy American bum“.
- 1.25: Nikolai Volkoff get’s one of the all time best introductions into a music video – milking a cow in the back of a pickup truck driven by The Fabulous Moolah.
- 3.50: Lauper meets the full child cast of The Goonies
- 4.30: WWF wrestlers dressed as pirates kidnap the cast of the Goonies
- 4.30: The Iron Sheik carries Chunk! Aren’t you glad you live in a world where this happened?
- 5.30: Sushi chefs are in the Goonies cave system why? Oh for racist jokes that they can’t pronounce Lauper.., “Lopa?“.
- 6.15: It’s Steve Spielberg doing a piece to camera, sans beard!
- 7.20 The first glimpse of The Iron Sheik’s dance moves
- 7.45: Chunk and Data lip-syncing to Cindi Lauper
- 8.00: The giant octopus that was deleted from the final cut of the movie makes it’s only known appearance (that’s Goonies gold right there)
- 9.45: More Iron Sheik dancing you lazy American bums
- 10.00: Josh Brolin looks embarrassed to be any part of this
- 11.00: Did anyone say end of video cameo from Andre The Giant in a brown wooly skirt?
And now you understand why this is the greatest moment in pop culture history!
Reader note: Yes I realise that the WWF was renamed the WWE in 2002. But since this video was shot in 1985, you get the idea. Now please enjoy this picture of the Iron Sheik dancing aboard the Goonies Ghost Ship along with a plastic cow.