Eggs. According to Wikipedia eggs are laid by females of many different species such as birds, reptiles, and amphibians. True, but the article neglects to mention aliens, dinosaurs, monsters, and ghosts. What a load of shit. If you want to know the true science of the humble egg then join Deadly Movies this Easter to celebrate the great and the good of that rarest of egg, the movie egg.
Critters eggs in Critters 2 (1988): Whilst the Critter Ball is rightfully the most memorable thing about Critters 2, lest us forget that if it wasn’t for stupid country hicks assuming Critter eggs were Easter eggs (what is an Easter egg anyway? Anyone with the brain of an ant’s anus would realise that those fucking things sure as shit weren’t made of chocolate) we wouldn’t have ever seen such greatness. I don’t know if that previous sentence makes any sense, and to be honest I’m beyond caring…, next.
Velociraptor egg in Jurassic Park (1993): John Hammond claims to have been present for the birth/hatching of every dinosaur in Jurassic Park, and how bloody fortunate for the plot that a Velociraptor just happens to be hatching during the principle cast’s tour of the facilities. Some call it lazy exposition, I call it the miracle of science. Either way, Raptor eggs (‘Raptors’ that’s what the hipsters are calling them these days) end up playing a large role in the Jurassic Park franchise (as large a role as eggs can play) – see Jurassic Park 3.
Various Godzilla eggs in various Godzilla movies: From Godzuki to Mothra to those fucking awful things in the American movie, the Godzilla films have always delivered the goods when it comes to giant creature eggs. The discovery of a mysterious super-sized egg and subsequent transport back to Tokyo was the staple diet of not just Godzilla and other Toho creature films, but of many a Japanese giant monster movie. We should always learn from history’s mistakes, and if you’re Japanese the lesson is this: if you find a giant un-fossilised egg (especially one that glows in any way) just scramble the fucking thing and avoid all that unnecessary death and destruction.
Alien egg in Alien (1979 – and all other Alien movies): The bastard penis child of Kane started out life as a pulsating, rubbery egg with big’ol vagina lips. Perhaps the only egg in the history of cinema which doesn’t so much hatch but spits its foetal goodness at you like a hillbilly in a cherry pip contest. Interesting bit of trivia for you; the egg used in the famous Alien teaser campaign (trailer and poster) was a hen’s egg which, clearly has a rounded top, distinctly different from the Alien eggs in the movie.
Dana Barrett’s eggs in Ghostbusters (1984): “These eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started cooking on the counter” says Dana Barrett about her possessed chicken periods. These infamous cinematic eggs are a great eggsample of Ghostbusters’ sense of humour, taking the ordinary and making it eggstraorinary. While Dana’s fridge went onto to greater cultural infamy, these eggs remain the talk of the gamete, albumen, and calcium carbonate elite.