Why Are The Rabbits Bleeding? Top 5 (at times tenuous) Easter Horror Movies

Easter is one of the few Holiday’s which horror hasn’t (until fairly recently) exploited and mined for that oh so sexy treasure; The easy buck (unintentional rabbit joke). Valentines Day, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and even Birthdays all have namesake horror movies. So Deadly Movies has been digging deep this Easter weekend you bring you horror’s best (tenuously linked or themed) Easter cuts. (Note, these aren’t really in any particular order).

5: Watership Down (1986): Is this the only film to successfully make rabbits scary? Yes. This film scarred the shitsters out of me as a child. All the flesh clawing and ear tearing.., and in a kids film? The incredibly violent final showdown between good rabbits and bad bunnies aside, this is a real trippy number that could only come out of the UK. There’s awesome voice talent from the likes of John Hurt and Richard Briers, fantastic old school animation, and a truly engaging story. This is a real Easter treat.

4: Night of the Lepus (1972). File in the ‘not really Easter Horror category‘ (as if that’s a category that really eggsists anywhere). But it is the essential, no, quintessential Giant Bunny monster movie. Truck sized, mutated bunny rabbits terrorize a desert community, including residents Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun, and Dr McCoy guy from Star Trek. The rabbits are a joyful mixture of real rabbits (that couldn’t look less terrifying and more cute if they tried) hopping around miniature sets and men in rabbit suits clawing fake blood all over Calhoun and company.

3: Alucarda (aka Sisters of Satan, aka Alucarda, la hija de las tinieblas – 1978). One for the Christians this. Alucarda (adraculA in mirror writing.., clever aye? No) can be taken a subversive narrative of Jesus Christ (if you try really hard to see it that way. Squint your eyes until it makes sense. Square peg, round hole). You’ll get the birth of the child, temptation, spreading of the (un-)holy gospel, lots of crucifixion visuals, and even some resurrection. See just like Jesus. Either that or it’s just a bat-shit crazy, yet highly effective, 70s possession movie. Either way, the amount of blood, tits, and lady kissing will warm your hot-cross buns. I’d warm her hot-cross buns any day etc etc.

2: Critters 2 (1988): It’s taken until number 2 on the list before I deliver a film actually set over Easter Weekend! Wooo! ‘Stick with puppets’ is a life mantra of mine, and one certainly believed by the producers of the ‘Critters’ movies, who milked this furry franchise for all its worth (imagine milking a Critter). Critter eggs are mistaken for Easter eggs, more Critters hatch, there’s a huge Critter ball, the end. Yay Easter.

1: The Being (1986). Another movie set over Easter Weekend. 2 for 2! No seriously, this Easter based monster flick is a complete shit fest that is only suitable for a wet Easter Monday…, yet it’s very entertaining shit fest for fans of 80s b-movie horror. Martin Landau stars in this ‘Alien’ rip about about a toxic waste mutant eating and raping his way around a small Idaho town over this holiest of holy weekends. Eggsactly.

So what have we learned about horror and Easter. 1) Apparently no one thought to make a decent killer in-rabbit-suit film back in the 80s, the golden era of Holiday stalk and slash. 2) Most Easter horror seems to take place in the Mid-West’ish region, so just don’t live there. 3) There are new ‘Easter’ themed horror movies available, such as ‘Easter Bunny, Kill, Kill‘ (2006) and ‘Easter Bunny Blood Bath‘ (2010). But I just don’t like modern attempts at exploitation horror so I chose to both shun and ignore them. 4) Just watch ‘Watership Down‘ (1978) for goodness sake.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

One thought on “Why Are The Rabbits Bleeding? Top 5 (at times tenuous) Easter Horror Movies

  1. Anonymous says:

    “Easter Bunny Blood Bath” is set in 1987 and has a definate 80’s feel. I’d say check it out if you can

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: