‘The Evil Below’ (1989)
Captain Max Cash has everything a man could desire; a tropical island life, a cooler full of beer, very small tight Speedo’s, a teenage blonde secretary, and a hot British client willing to wear nothing but bikinis during most social situations (played by the beautiful June Chadwick of ‘V‘ fame). The one thing Max doesn’t have (aside from better fitting swimming attire), ironically, is any cash.., an irony lost on this film. Director Wayne Crawford cast himself as Max Cash but sadly didn’t have the hindsight to make this a funny, self-knowong, action romp.., instead he made a piece of boring nonsense that sandwiches in some last minure satanic elements to try and sex-up the fact that it’s a dull TV movie at best which, should really have been nothing more than an episode pitch for ‘Macgyver‘.
Running around a tropical Island full of British and Australians in his tiny Speedo’s, Max and Sarah (Chadwick) search for the wreck of a sunken Spanish galleon which, has been cursed and therefore needs to be blown up rather than pillaged. When the movie tags on Its bizarre paranormal bookend to try and convince us this was an attempt at a horror movie, the bad-guy actually turns up in a hat and cape circa 1920s fiend tying a damsel to the train tracks. All of this would be hilariously entertaining if the movie knew how stupid this all was. But it doesn’t. Even funnier, Crawford has the balls to suggest a sequel, which oddly enough never came to be. Here’s to you Captain Max Cash, the man with no cash.
So let’s see a show of hands.., who out there has seen this Speedo fetish dream-boat?
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