Great Christmas Moments | Day 12: Cokehead Ellis talks shit in ‘Die Hard’ (1989)

It feels right that we started this 12 day countdown to Christmas with ‘Die Hard 2‘ and are ending it with its predecessor, the ultimate action movie and for many, the number one alternative Christmas movie, ‘Die Hard‘ (1989). Christmas is famous for a jolly bearded chap, but we’re not celebrating Santa, or even Hans Gruber this Christmas Eve, but rather Harry Ellis (aka Ellis) played brilliantly by Hart Bochner. Coked out his mind for much of the movie, Ellis comes up with some of the film’s best dialogue (which is saying something when McClane, Hans, Al, Thornberg, Argyle, Chief Dwayne Robinson, and Johnson & Johnson all have a stocking full of wisecracks) including festive zingers like:

I’ve watched 60 Minutes, and I’m saying to myself, they’re motivated, they’re happening, I.E. they want something. Maybe it’s because you’re pissed off or maybe it’s the camel jockies, the hebes

Hans, bubbey (or boobey) I’m your white knight

Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash

Hey, what am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun, this is radio, not television

But for all of Ellis’ “babe’s”, “capisci’s“, “bubbee’s“, and “camel jockeys“, there’s one line, one zinger that stands out in particular; Ellis asking a bunch of German, heavily armed, terrorists ” Hey, sprechen ze talk?“. Ha, Ha, Ha! This is top notch stupidity from the loveable king of smarmy, smug, bullshitery. Translated back into English by the way, Ellis is asking a very pissed off German something along the lines of “Hey, talk talk?”, which is just riotously hilarious. You can just imagine captured journalists in Afghanistan explaining their miraculous escape to the press; we just snorted some coke, grinned like a an intoxicated simpleton, and asked them jovially “Talk, talk, bubbee?”.

This Christmas raise a glass, and a few grams of coke to the legend of Harry Ellis and have a Happy Harry Fucking Ellis Christmas.

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