.., Time Travelling Godzilla Hunters Caused the Career of Steven Spielberg in ‘Godzilla vs King Ghidorha’ (1991)
Godzilla plots are wacky and random at the best of times; boldly spitting in the face of logic and character motivation.., and they are awesome for it. There are many a Godzilla flick that could lay claim to being the king of bizarre narratives; 1991’s ‘Godzilla vs King Ghidorha‘ may not be the wackiest but it’s certainly up there on the ‘what-the-fuck-is-going-on-o’meter‘. The plot concerns time travelling future people (dressed in hilarious 90’s future clothes) who go back in time to World War 2 in order to teleport a dinosaur into the present before it has the chance to mutate into Godzilla during the US atomic bombing. Got it? As the time travellers arrive in 1944 aboard their Klingon ship they overshoot a fleet of US warships. Witnessing this strange flying vessel, two US sailors offer the following, mind boggling, dialogue:
Major: “Enemy plane Sir?”
Admiral: “Impossible, no enemy plane could fly that fast, that looked to me like if was from another planet!”
Major: “I have to agree Sir, it did look like it was from another planet.., but.., Shall we report it Sir?”
Admiral: “What.., That we’re being invaded by little green men from outer space? Let’s just keep it as our secret (REALLY!?). You can tell your son about it when he’s born, Major Spielberg”
WHAT THE FUCK? That’s right everyone. In Godzilla mythology, the father of ET and Close Encounters was inspired by his carzy old-man’s UFO war ramblings. Amazing. Only in Godzilla, only in Japan.
NOTE: We are very simple people with very small penis. But you, Americans… wow! Penis so big! So big penis!