Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard of #5

‘Death Bed: The Bed That Eats’ (1977)

Deadly Movies has come across some pretty funky things over the years, but this as a concept may well take the biscuit, in fact it may well take the entire bloody bakery. If you’ve heard of this then you’ll have been totally bamboozled and bewildered by a plot that featured a homosexual possessed painting that overlooked an equally possessed four-poster-bed (sexual preference unknown). For centuries the bed has devoured all that lay upon it by digesting them through the mattress with the aid of some kind of corrosive, digestive yellow foam whereupon the victims are consumed in a vat of yellow liquid that one can only assume is located in some kind of divan stomach. Now all the carnivorous bed needs is a group of hapless and horny 70s teens to swing ’round for a groovy time, and the good news is that it’s 2 for 1 on hapless teens at Walmart. Anyway stupid and the stupid bunch get eaten by the bed. Here’s a point of interest: Teens give you bad indigestion apparently (personally I’ve never eaten a whole one), so the bed digests a bottle of Pepto Bismol for some fast swift relief. I shit you not. One teen who deserves a special mention is Shannon’s brother (Rusty Russ – his parents had a sense of homour), who dips his hands in the mattress only to have them stripped of flesh and left skeletal. Some how brother extraorldinnare spends the rest of the film with skeleton hands and no medical side-effects! What in the name of Billy Big Bollocks is going on here? Totally and utterly trippy beyond comprehension.
So this will impress me.., Hands up who’s seen it, and who the hell understood what the shit bags was happening?
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2 thoughts on “Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard of #5

  1. Derek O'Brien says:

    Apologies for the delay in responding, but I only had the dubious pleasure of seeing this late last night, and I'm still wondering if it was a pizza-induced nightmare.Seriously, I kept shifting between seeing it as some bad comedy spoof (the Pepto Bismo gag, the Mayor Missing headline gag) and the sort of grisly grindhouse horror that only a low-budget 70s film can produce. There was this genuine sense of chill I felt at the scenes of the spirit trapped behind the painting, helpless to prevent the bed from claiming victims over the decades (making it feel like one of those low-budget TV adaptations of a creepy Lovecraft-era horror short story)- but then that feeling would be trampled by the sounds of the bed consuming flesh like it was an apple, or its digestive juices bubbling with excitement at the imminent quick flash of some 70s non-silicone breasts. As I watched Rusty Russ' character calmly stare at his defleshed hands and mutter, "Oh look, the cartilage is disintegrating." as his finger bones dropped off (before his mute companion cast them in the fire), I didn't know whether to laugh or shudder.I stuck with it as best I could, morbidly wanting to discover how it all played out, and to its meagre credit, the end was just as weird as the rest of the film. Twelve hours later, I'm still wondering,"What the hell?"Was this film lost? Or abandoned?

  2. Derek O'Brien says:

    Oh, and a big Thank You to the first filmmakers who realised that having characters do inner monologues can cover poor sound production values – without your creative efforts, the makers of Death Bed would not have a movie.

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