Deadly Movies Top 5 Deadliest Seaside Towns

 

Looking for a relaxing break? Then head to the coast for endless summers, golden sands, bronzed skin, floating limbs, severed heads, and crimson tides so red only your pathologist will know the difference. Deadly Movies recommends the following seaside resorts:

5. Antonio Bay, California

Local Attractions include: Centenary celebrations, locals are friendly to backpackers, and excessive amount of melted-down gold.

Watch out for: Zombie/ghost style lepers that live in the sea fog.

Chances of survival: Good if you can avoid glowing green possessed fog. If you’re related to the town’s forefathers now is the time to try vacationing inland.

If in doubt ask for: Kathy Williams

Further Reference: The Fog (1980), Dir John Carpenter

4. Ocean Bay, Southern California

Local Attractions: Annual regatta, good tunnel travel links, friendly Killer Whales, and a lot of Italian locals lipsyncing American English.

Watch out for: Really pissed off oversized octopus

Chances of survival: Stay on land and you’re fine. However if you like sailing or fishing you could be in trouble.

If in doubt ask for: Will Gleason

Further Reference: Tentacles (1977), Dir Ovido. G Assonitis

3. Bodega Bay, Northern California

Local Attractions: Charming locals and scenery, great coastal drives.

Watch out for: Birds, anything with feathers that flies (there’s also some antsy mothers about).

Chances of Survival: 50/50. Stay inside at all costs, ensure you’re somewhere with very few windows and stay far away from gas stations.

If in doubt ask for: Mitch Brenner

Further reference: The Birds (1963), Dir Alfred Hitchcock

2. Santa Carla, California

Local Attractions: Great local comic book store and a thriving night life.

Watch out for: Teenage vampires, horny, hungry, and a little bit homoerotic.

Chances of survival: Slim if you get involved in the local nightlife. Recommended for daytime visits only.

If in doubt ask for: Edgar Frog

Further Reference: The Lost Boys (1987), Dir Joel Schumacher

1. Amity Island, Maine

Local Attractions: Panoramic beaches, quaint New England villages, and renowned 4th of July celebrations.

Watch out for: Rogue Great White Sharks

Chances of Survival: Slim indeed if you go in the water. One report even suggested a shark attacking a helicopter.

If in doubt ask for: Chief of police Martin Brody

Further Reference: Jaws (1975) Dir Steven Spielberg, Jaws 2 (1978) Jeannot Szwarc

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2 thoughts on “Deadly Movies Top 5 Deadliest Seaside Towns

  1. The Divemistress says:

    Fanastic post! And I friggin love that postcard 🙂

  2. Bodega Bay is a real place, in southwestern Sonoma County, 50 miles or so north of San Francisco. I’ve been there.

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