You’re One Salty Mother Fucker

Friday Midnight Movie, ‘Slugs’ (1987)

The Gastropod Mollusc not famous for its bone structure has grown a nice set of teeth

This is perfect midnight viewing on every level; cheesy, gory, unbelievably 80s, and acting so mediocre it can only be described as adequate soft-core porn. Slugs is a film that comes way way way down the line in the Jaws inspired nature revenge films of the 70s and 80s. Not that there has ever been a lack of killer animals in Hollywood, but 1975s Jaws really whipped producers everywhere into a quick-buck frenzy. By this point, some eleven years after Jaws, we’ve had killer sharks, worms (Squirm 1976), ants (Ants 1977), spiders (Kingdom of the Spiders 1977), whales (Orca 1977), piranhas (Piranha 1978), bees (Swarm 1978), alligators (Alligator 1980), dogs (Cujo 1983), and rats (Rats – Night of Terror 1983). You get the idea.

Let’s get onto the slippery suckers in question. For some reason these slower than slow ‘mutant slugs that like meat’ (that’s about as much science as you’ll get in this one) start attacking small town folk. You get loads of real slugs, rubber slugs, and one money shot that features a little animatronic slug that bites someone’s finger, that’s right a finger, a finger bitten. Ouch that’s sore.

Unlike many Slasher movies of the same period our victims here are not horny teenagers, but rather insanely horny adults. They’re all at it…., The teacher, the county sanitation supervisor, the local health inspector, and the property developer. That’s right, all the sexiest industries are on show here. Not only that, but they’re at it to sexy music. The captain bizarreo score is a good enough reason alone to watch this. Think Columbo meets Psycho.

Now the best bit of all, the gore. These slugs can eat you, get inside you, and even blow your house up. But what this film really loves is eyeballs. You get dissolved eyeballs, eaten eyeballs, and best of all exploding eyeballs. Mix the gore, sexy times, daytime TV acting, and dialogue so appalling it becomes ludicrously enjoyable, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a Deadly Movies Midnight Movie.

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